Grey Gets Locked Up In Prison - Part 2: Cuff Shenanigans

Thursday Lunch / Dinner

I quickly start searching around my cell to see if there is any contraband or anything I may get in trouble for. I find a handcuff key hidden inside my sink. Then a key hidden in my sprinkler. A final key then cleverly hidden inside a paint bubble on the wall.

I relocated all three of these keys. I placed one key inside the roll of toilet paper next to the toilet, turning it around so it wasn’t as obvious. Another I placed in the joint between my bed frame and the wall. The last I just put under the sink for now, since you’d have to be on the floor to see it.

Lunch was brought to my cell - the small window on the door opened and a metal tray was placed on it with a tortilla turkey wrap, a small bag of Doritos, an applesauce, and a water bottle with my inmate number on it. They left the door window open for a while, and I used the opportunity to get to know some of my neighbors as guards processed the rest of the inmates.

I had no idea what time it was other than the light coming into my room, but next thing I know it’s dinner time. Our cell doors open up and we are told to stand on the yellow line at our cell door. Then told to step up to the red line out in the block. All the inmates step out.

We are told many of the rules and protocols that we will have to follow. In front of every door there is a red line. No inmate may cross the red line unless a Guard grants them permission. This is only received by stating:

“Officer, inmate 56913 requesting permission to cross the red line Sir.”

All Officers will be referred to at all times as Sir, CO, or Officer. Infractions will be punished at a Guards discretion with 25 pushups, 25 sit-ups, a 2:50 wall sit, or a 2:50 plank - Guards choice. We are then allowed to hang out in the common area before dinner.

I get to know the other inmates, one is a local I already know, and he immediately targets me. I am panicked that someone will find the key in my cell, so I pull the one from under the sink and tuck it in the waistband of my boxer shorts on the small of my back. I also hide one outside in the main area on the door of cell 2106, as it’s empty.

The main CO comes back, and wants to go over the rules again - this time with demonstrations of the exercises. Uh oh. One fit inmate gets picked to demonstrate pushups. Guess who got picked to demonstrate sit-ups? Yea. Me. With a KEY hidden on the small of my back. OW. Even more fortunately - we ALL got to demonstrate wall sits and planking, each of which also made more painful by my contraband.

Before being released for some additional free time before dinner, all inmates are placed in leg irons. I tell a couple of the inmates I feel I can trust about my incident with the key and we all laugh. This includes my friend C that will be on 24 hour lockdown from Thursday to Sunday in cell 2301. They have been nice and left his cell window slot open so we can talk to him, and my local friend T.

We are all given sheets, a blanket, and a pillow and told to make up our beds. After this - the guards want to do compliance checks on all the inmates to make sure everyone is in the state they should be. I sensed a moment and I jumped on it immediately.

As the guards call for everyone to line up on the red line, I instead pop back into my cell. Take out my key, take off my leg irons, put them on the side of my pants, and briskly walk behind the row of inmates like I am supposed to be doing this.

I go up the stairs to the first catwalk across the block, cuff one end to a corner post, and dangle the other end down so it’s just swinging there. I then go back downstairs, get back in line, and somehow this all went almost entirely unnoticed by the guards as they were all occupied at the time.

After a couple of minutes - the cuffs are noticed and gee - who’s could they be?!

“GREY! Would you like to tell everyone what happened to your leg cuffs?!”
”They fell off Sir!”
“Why did you not tell anyone your cuffs fell off?”
”I felt like I could liven up the decor Sir!”
”How did they get up there?!”
”They just flew up there Sir - it was CRAZY!”

The guards now knew I had a key, so I am taken to a cell and fully strip searched again, while my cell is searched by the other guards. They find the key hidden in my toilet paper roll. I lie when asked if I have anything else.

I’m asked if that is all that I have, and I tell them I promise - that’s all I have. My punishment is I am put into lockdown after doing all the dishes from dinner. It was basically lights out by then anyway, but I’m not sure how long the lockdown will last.

I lie in bed honestly surprised at just how DARK it gets in my cell with the main block lights off. All I can think of is that there is honestly no way you can get out of this right now. Even if you could somehow get out of this cell, I am in leg cuffs, in a massive prison complex, surrounded by two fences covered in razor wire, in the middle of a swamp.