Grey Gets Locked Up In Prison - Part 4: Sunday Shakedown

During the night - all lights are off and it’s well and truly dark, other than the light coming from outside the window. A few times in the evening, guards will perform cell checks by shining a flashlight through the window of each cell to make sure they are still in there. I had started to figure out what the timing was - it felt like there was one around 4AM.

I was up in my cell for the 9th time that night between sleep. It felt like it must be probably close to that time. I had an idea.

I stood by my door and just kept watch, waiting to see if I would see any light coming from anywhere. Suddenly, I see a light bouncing on the ground and I realize - they are coming to do cell checks.

I immediately crouch down underneath my window in the blind spot so they can’t see me. I wait for the flashlight to appear in my window…

BOOM - I quickly stand up and just put my face directly in the beam of the flashlight - eyes as wide as I can make them. Immediately blinded, all I can see are spots, so I can’t tell which guard it is. All I hear is, “GGHHHuuuussss” from the other side of the cell door.

I BUST up laughing. The light returns, only this time it is on strobe, and they leave it shining in my cell for a solid minute while I’m sort of doing a little victory dance and giggling my face off.

The next morning, we are hanging out in the main area before breakfast when one of the guards just pulls me aside and says “You think you are pretty funny…” and just shoots me a look. I now know who it was, haha.

We go into breakfast, I’m feeling smug as hell. Line up to return once we are done and the main CO suddenly says, “WHO IS IN CELL 2104?!”

Why… why that’s me! So I step forward and say, “I am Sir!”

“IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION YOU ARE CAUSING PROBLEMS AS WELL AS HIDING CONTRABAND. DID YOU HIDE A HANDCUFF KEY IN FRONT OF CELL 2106?!”

Ooo. I went very red. I knew I was caught - I mean… that’s a very specific accusation. It was so specific, I immediately knew someone had ratted me out. There were at least 3 people that would have known the key was there. C who was under 24 / 7 lockdown, T my local friend, and B - an inmate friend across from my cell. I immediately - and rightfully - suspect T, my local friend.

At this point - guards have hit the wall when it comes to the contraband and are about to shut it down.

“INMATES! WHEN YOU GET BACK TO THE BLOCK YOU WILL FACE YOUR CELL DOOR SO YOUR NOSE TOUCHES IT AND YOU WILL NOT MOVE OR TURN AROUND UNTIL INSTRUCTED TO DO SO BY A GUARD! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!!??”

“YES SIR!!” we all replied.

After asking the guard permission in our normal protocol to pass the red line, we all hobbled over to our cell doors in our leg cuffs and waited for the guards to come into the block, who were all meeting right outside the door.

After several minutes, the guards all came in at once, started entering people’s cells, and started stripping everything out. Mattresses, blankets, pillows - everything is just flying out of cells and landing in the center of the main block. They are looking for anything / everything. And I am BUSTING A GUT.

This is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life and I am SO here for it! I keep turning around and laughing at each echoing SLAP from a mattress landing from the second floor cells above.

“INMATE 13!! IS SOMETHING FUCKING FUNNY!? TURN THE FUCK AROUND AND PUT YOUR NOSE ON THE DOOR!!!”

This only increased the humor. I was bratting out hardcore at this point. I keep turning around to see all of the shit flying - in more ways than one. Reminder - we are all in shackles - have been for the entire weekend.

“INMATE 13!!!” It was even louder this time. I couldn’t even say “YES SIR” because I was laughing so hard. Suddenly - my arms are cuffed behind me and a capture hood is thrown over my head. “THERE. NOW FACE THE FUCKING WALL!”

I’m industrious, if anything - and I know these RIPP hoods pretty well. So I scootch it up on my head as high as it will go using the door as leverage, then bend over to the left so I can try and grab it with my hands cuffed behind me. I’ve ALLLLLLMOST got it off when….

“INMATE 13!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!!?!” Ooooo - that was a loud one. I don’t remember who said it, haha. “Trying to watch the show SIR!!!!” I bratted back.

Next thing I know - duct tape is being wrapped around my chest pinning my arms down so I can’t reach up anymore. “FACE THE FUCKING WALL!!” I got slammed up against my door. Giggles.

Several minutes pass. Shit is still flying into main block. It took effort - but I managed to pop the duct tape and get it mostly off so I could use my arms again. No words happened this time. I was just - without warning - slammed to the ground and then hogchained on the floor.

OK - I’m not gonna work my way out of this one, so I’m resigned to just being on my stomach hooded while shit is going down. There is some commotion happening over at the main door I notice.

Suddenly I hear - “PERHAPS THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO HAVE OUR NEWEST GUARD HELP WITH THINGS!!!!”

I couldn’t really hear much after that - things were pretty muffled and I was just focusing on breathing to be honest. One of the guards leaned into me and said, “GREY! Perhaps you would like to welcome our newest guard!!!”

“I don’t know who it is SIR!!!” - I bratted back.

Suddenly the hood is ripped off and all I can see is a knee in green camos and part of an elbow right in front of me. “I can’t see who you are SIR!!” I said. “Maybe THIS will help!” Suddenly, the figure stands up, jumps onto his side - landing on a mattress in front of me on his elbow with his face in his hand and says…… “Hello sunshine.”

C from LOCKDOWN!?! My jaw hit the floor. “YOU. SON. OF. A. BITCH!!” I struggle / lunged at him futilely in my hog chain , but that just hurt more and he was too far away. I’ve never felt so betrayed - it was a ’6th Sense’ level reveal that I 100% did not expect, but in retrospect… I really should have.

“OK INMATES - GET THIS FUCKING BLOCK CLEANED UP!” C yelled at all of us. The hood went back on my head as I just yelled ‘FUCK YOU!!’ and they all laughed and just walked away. Eventually I was released and told to put my stuff back in my cell and make my bed or I’m gonna lose it.